I’m Not Asking, I’m Telling!

 

Who remembers some of the old adages our parents unleashed when we were ‘naughty’?

 

'Because I said so'

'I’ll have your guts for garters' (rather disconcerting...)

'As long as you’re under my roof, you live by my rules'

'If I've told you once I've told you twice'

'Who is ‘She’? The Cat’s Mother?'

And the penultimate:
Close the door - were you born in a barn?

When I was growing up, if I was a bit naughty or too loud I was told off - but only by my teachers.

But what about the 'instructions' that were meant for (more especially, though not limited to) young women.

'Hold your tummy in'
'Eat with your mouth closed'
'Knees together'
'Speak like a lady'

Well I wonder what Beryl Reid’s character in, The Crossword Sketch would have to say about those. I was introduced to her when I was probably around about 12? She was proper naughty - well not really - but at that young age - it seemed like that to me.

I loved the fact that  she really owns the space in the sketch; barging her way into a first class train carriage, and bustling with an armful of bags She sits between two stuffy, well-spoken, suited gentlemen in bowler hats, each doing The Times crossword.

She's a Cockney and her behaviour is loud and gregarious . Her language is pitted with slang and euphemisms: ‘I’ll ‘ave a dainty kip-et’, when she insists they must wake her when the train gets to her stop. She coughs without shielding and wipes her hands on her clothing.

What she does so fantastically well is draw paradoxical attention to this behaviour through clowning and comedy at its finest, by revealing an intellect which surpasses the two other ‘gentlemen’. We can almost smell her feet as she kicks off her stiletto shoes as though she's at home (strong, bold acting skills); she also coats one of the gentleman’s shoulders with cream from her bun – which she then licks off unceremoniously...

She’s open, joyful and absolutely grounded in her state of being.

One gentleman asks the other “I suppose you haven’t got 16 down?”

They share confusion over 16 down, offering only ten letters, third letter F.

Beryl's character pipes up ‘INFATUATED’, enunciating each syllable garishly. And like magic, the status quo switches, with intellectual replies being strewn about like Beryl’s cream bun, mocking the gentlemen with free indirect speech like ‘well it’s obvious aint it?’ Well actually no, it wasn't obvious at all. The whole sketch builds, and suddenly the paradox becomes the best part of who she is.

Have you ever met any fantastic characters on a train journey?

Creating my feminist clown courses is such a pleasure. Chats, practice, theory and providing people with techniques and tips to create their own clown and comedy work – but also, hopefully to help them embody freedom. It's the reason why I teach; it's the reason why I passionately believe in 'unlearning' the norms. Beryl-style!

If you couldn’t make the last Feminist courses, join us on SAT 15 May for a short get together; two times: 9.30am start or 4pm GMT. (Watch out for another feminist COURSE coming your way, soon)

Beryl Elizabeth Reid, OBE (17 June 1919 – 13 October 1996), was an English actress of stage and screen. And is one of the reasons why I break the ground of convention to this day.